'Dylan's Battle'

 

This is the cover of my debut book Dylan's Battle. The book was released on the 21/09/23. I thought I'd write a little about it so you know my mind and my whole thought process of the book. Without realising I suppose I had written this book once before, or an iteration of the book anyway. When I was 15 I had started writing a piece called 'The devil living on my shoulder'  or 'The devil living on my back' 

I've been trying to find a word document or hand written notes on it for months but can not find anything for the life of me, but I defiantly remember it somewhere in the back of my mind. What do you expect for an unorganised teen eh?

So realistically 'Dylan's Battle' has been swirling away in my mind for ten plus years at this point. One day I went onto TikTok and posted a video saying 'I'm putting this out there, so I can hold myself accountable, I'm going to write a book, try and write a book' and from that point I had poured over my MacBook and spewed my heart and soul onto my google document page. 

As you can imagine the more I wrote the more attached I became to Dylan, I had spent hundreds of hours, an unlimited amount of fallen tears, and way to many finger blisters to count creating Dylan's world. I had never really thought about, how I would feel when the book was finally released. 

Thing's I felt when Dylan's Battle was published.

1. Happy (obviously)

2. A lot of crying (again, obviously?!?! If you know me, you'll know how emotional I am)

3. Nerves (Do I need to say obviously again?)

4. Jealousy ( HAHA no obviously needed)

The amount of jealousy I had was ridiculous, I was jealous of other people reading it, I was jealous of other people knowing Dylan, don't get me wrong I was so so excited for people to welcome Dylan into there lives and take the time to sit down and read what I created but I has so much envy that Dylan was no longer just mine. I know it's what you give up as soon as it goes out to the public for everyone to read to critique and to enjoy but oh my god. I truly didn't know how upset I would be over it. I mean it's probably me just being silly and over dramatic but I'd love to know if anyone else felt like this as well after releasing their book??

Writing Dylan's Battle

In someways you could say I did the unthinkable while I'm writing, at points I may, or may not have broken the fourth wall (I know I know) but I did it in a purposeful way I suppose. I wanted it to be clear as day who was the narrator throughout the book. Primarily it's Dylan, we are reading as though WE are Dylan. I wanted it to be this way because when I was writing as the 'unknown figure' I had always written in bold. I wanted to make sure from the first chapter what was what, so we would be talking as Dylan but then I'd write something the unknown figure would be saying in the middle of a sentence or even in the middle of dialogue like  'Dylan, don't think about doing that' so that would be coming into your mind as you're reading. So in theory you're now both hearing the unknown figure inside your head while you're reading. 

In all honestly, I hid the fact I was writing a book from most of my family because I was too scared and embarrassed to tell them. I'm not going to lie academically I can't say I'm the brightest tool in the box ya know? I failed most of my exams including English HAHA and the fact I'm dyslexic so it doesn't really add up, so I didn't want them to know anything until 

1. I finished it

2. I fully believed it was good enough.

 

I always knew it was going to be a hard read for my parents to read, as when I was younger, I also suffered with my mental health, I got into a pretty dark place like Dylan, so I found it pretty hard to find a balance with personal experience and Dylan's experience. It was always going to set off certain emotions and memories for my parents, who knew what I was going through at the time but couldn't really do anything about it. Let's be realistic the care people get regarding their mental health in the UK is a load of bollocks. 

It's pretty scary what your mind can do to you though, because while I writing 'Dylan's Battle' obviously I needed to be in the right frame of mind, physically and mentally myself. I had to ensure my mental health is / was strong enough to go so dark while writing Dylan's Battle, because it can catch you off guard. I'll always remember I was writing a particularly scene where Dylan was walking across a bridge on his way home, and the unknown figure was being HORID to Dylan. I don't really know how to explain what happened but it just felt like my brain was trying to slip into old ways that I used to be like and you know I had to close my laptop and just be like nope we don't do that anymore, that was bad for us, we are okay now, but we don't think like that anymore. It really put perspective on things while creating this world.

So there are 3 main characters in this book, and they are for the best  I've already spoken about Dylan and the Unknown Figure the third and final main character in the book is Chloe. I can't say she is a predominate character in the book, because she isn't. That's for the second book Chloe's Time ;) 

Chloe is Dylan's girlfriend, who is currently staying at her nans house. She pops out throughout the book texting Dylan as she has plans to relax with her nan for the day. When writing and creating Chloe I didn't want her to be too in your face distracting the reader from Dylan, but I needed her there enough, to keep us all sane really. 

That's a small glimpse into my thought process while writing 'Dylan's Battle' so I hope you enjoyed it.

Music I've been listening too this week

Ed Sheeran - Autumn Variations (what a great album, sounds like really early ed again, great cozy album!)

Alexandra Stewart - I wish you cheated (Someone else I found on TikTok what a great song! great voice!)

Zoe Wees - Don't Give Up (Someone I found on Instagram, her voice OMG!!!!!!!)

Sabrina Carpenter - Emails I can't send (Just a really good album lets be honest haha!!)

Currently Reading

Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince - J.K Rowling 

One Of Us Is Back - Karen M.mcanus

I hope you have all had a good week!! All good here. My fiancee, my mum and I are seeing Sarah Millican today in Swindon so I'm hoping we are going to have a great evening! So other than working, typing and reading all is good over this side of the screen. Have a great week and see you next week!

Harry :)